Why LIE?

Hey there... I have not written in such a long time so I thought I'll just write because lately, LIFE has been sucking! Let me explain.

I normally write because the person I could normally talk to befor now really does not talk to me anymore so I feel left alone and in the cold. I had found LOVE or what I thought it was but others see it as Lust.. I know it's Love, not lust. Ok, Enough of the babbling.

I normally chat on this one Nigerian website which I won't list here because then that would give you access to log in and know me better as a person. Don't want that to happen.. (smile)... Anyway. I know if people tell their business in that chatroom to only 1 person who they trust that EVERYONE will find out and spread it around. In the beginning, it was fun and also to let people know that I'm NO longer single to just leave me alone. The guy and I WHIPLASH would tell people that we are together which I thought was cool because it would be like we have absolutely nothing to hide. So hey, why not? Well things were really great. We have ended up meeting several times and he even met my son which that meeting went really great. But then, it got to the point to where people in that chatroom would get to know a little too much about us so we stopped telling our jiggg in there and just went our way of being private about our issues. But yet everyone knows we still together. Well, yesterday really sucked because Whiplash had messaged me to tell me that 2 people in that chatroom "swear" that I told them he has a small penis or whatever and that he didn't make love to me very well.. Actually I did not say nothing like that. All I said was that when he got out of the shower he did something and I thought it was cute and it did NOT include the size of his manly hood nor how he was in the sack. I don't know why people have to go and try to mess up people relationships. I do however know that with certain people/cultures that they hate to see people progress happily and it makes them feel "sad and lonely" so then they have to try to mess things up for the happy couples. It really sucks. Anyway, I was really on my breaking point last night. I hated it.. Made me feel as low as the dirty we walk on every day. I felt really bad for Whiplash also because then he was very angry at me which made me to feel even worse and he was starting to talk to this girl who I call "the chatroom whore".. Her name I will mention it's OGO... she supposed to have showed my man some pics of her in a thong or whatever that she posted on myspace.com of her on a "stripper pole".. I mean common, who would really post shit like that apart from whores? She has absolutely NO respect for herself or her newborn baby... Anyway, back to me and Whiplash. I love him so much and I can't believe he would actually think that I would say shit like that to someone who I probably don't even like (it's hard to find someone who I can like in that specific chatroom). I just wish that he can forgive me for something I did not do just to make his head not to worry him. I love him so much he's really a sweet guy and treats me quite well... He's a pretty decient guy. I just don't know if he will be able to make love to me again as a man. I wonder if what those fools have told him had any affect on how things will be when he and I meet again. I don't know if I can look him in the face even knowing I never told anyone anything about his manhood. We will just have to find out. Anyway, I love him and that's all I know about that.. Well, It's 4:21am and I'm going to try to sleep now. I really could not so I had to come online and just to vent. Could not sleep... Take care.. post comments, hell, don't be scared... (smile).
Take care
God Bless you ALL!