Lost Without Daddy?!?!?!?
This is a very hard subject for me to talk about because every time I think about my father, I just cry....
From what I have hurd from family members, befor I was even thought about, my mom liked having affairs with married men and such. She didn't care where or how she cought her fun as long as it was good. She became pregnant with me 4 years after my elder brother was born. She had told me when she was 7 months pregnant with me that she was no longer my father's mistress. I had asked her why was she a mistress and not married to him. She then told me that she had affair with him because he is married and not happy in the marriage. My mom wanted something more with him and could not have it. He then left her shortly befor I was born to go back to his wife. My mom also told me when I was 3 months old, she showed up at his door with me in her arms and said that he slammed the door in her face saying "that's not my child!!". So then my mom was forced to raise me alone in which if you read my earlier posts, that did not quit happen. Well, to make a long story short, I have no father. He's not even in my birth certificate. Only my mom and my doctor. The part of the certificate that says "father's name" it says "father unknown".. I look at kids when i were younger and wonder what it would be like to have a father. I wonder what it would be like to have a father go on school field trips with me, to have a father at my girl scouts "father daughter" dances.. and things like that. I don't know what it's like to go to the park with my father and have him pushing me on the swing. I don't know what it's like to have my father walk me down the asile when I got married. Hell, I don't even know what it's like to have my mother at my wedding either. Life sucked and I'm sure it will get worse only to get better. Why did my daddy have to deny me and not just admit the fact that he fucked up and had a baby with another woman apart from his wife? It was not my fault so why take it out on me? I don't understand. Will I ever understand? I hate it! I hate it! I HATE IT! I want my daddy!
From what I have hurd from family members, befor I was even thought about, my mom liked having affairs with married men and such. She didn't care where or how she cought her fun as long as it was good. She became pregnant with me 4 years after my elder brother was born. She had told me when she was 7 months pregnant with me that she was no longer my father's mistress. I had asked her why was she a mistress and not married to him. She then told me that she had affair with him because he is married and not happy in the marriage. My mom wanted something more with him and could not have it. He then left her shortly befor I was born to go back to his wife. My mom also told me when I was 3 months old, she showed up at his door with me in her arms and said that he slammed the door in her face saying "that's not my child!!". So then my mom was forced to raise me alone in which if you read my earlier posts, that did not quit happen. Well, to make a long story short, I have no father. He's not even in my birth certificate. Only my mom and my doctor. The part of the certificate that says "father's name" it says "father unknown".. I look at kids when i were younger and wonder what it would be like to have a father. I wonder what it would be like to have a father go on school field trips with me, to have a father at my girl scouts "father daughter" dances.. and things like that. I don't know what it's like to go to the park with my father and have him pushing me on the swing. I don't know what it's like to have my father walk me down the asile when I got married. Hell, I don't even know what it's like to have my mother at my wedding either. Life sucked and I'm sure it will get worse only to get better. Why did my daddy have to deny me and not just admit the fact that he fucked up and had a baby with another woman apart from his wife? It was not my fault so why take it out on me? I don't understand. Will I ever understand? I hate it! I hate it! I HATE IT! I want my daddy!
posted by Oyinbo @ 10:24 AM
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